surferstatus (surferstatus) wrote,
surferstatus
surferstatus

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FEEL LIKE CRAWLING UNDER A ROCK AND DYING

 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE WRITTEN...WHAT'S NEW!

here's the scoop..i am now 21 on the verge of 22 and from the looks of it...shit hasn't changed. 

I have gone in and out of relationships. I try staying single, but i guess like the amigos say " i can't". I cannot help it! I'm single for a few months and i date multiple ppl at the same time and a guy usually sticks out....this time Fernie. I wasn't looking, he just happened. BUT like always....drama. I decide to actually give my heart away since the last jerk " the little one"..and what happens....squishes it like a bug! he was still talking to his ex ex ex ex ex girl friend from a million yrs ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TO TRUST OR NOT TO TRUST AGAIN?/ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......as of right now... i don't trust the guy for shit...i guess he's some comfort right now for my current situtation- for all i know he's fuckn the bitch 'cuz if i learned anything WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY! and if he is actually be true. i will find out in due time..i  actually thought that he was the 'it' guy. i kept getting glimpses of my future with him included( creepy i know). Ii has never ever been hard to get a guy, but i have never really fallen, since freddy. ughhhhh!! i totally have trust issues now. It's like should i stay or should i go? does he really care? and the part that sucks is that all my fuckn ex boyfriends call on occasion( even freddy) and i can't change my number cuz rob ( my step dad) controls it , and i manage in not talking to them and he couldn't!


"TRUTH WITHOUT LOVE IS HARSH, BUT LOVE WITHOUT TRUTH IS DANGEROUS."

other news...the grandma..my MOM..my EVERYTHING...IS IN A COMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel like dying! i have all this rage and can't get it out. I tried the punching bag, drinking, hanging out with the friends..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .....SOOOOOOOOOO SAD..

AND......i had an apt and decided to leave it and move back to my mom's ( my family took off to temecula my jr yr w/ out me =( been solo ever since)...but i decided to move back 3 months ago..lol couldn't cut it....now i'm back with no real place of my own. suppose to be staying with my dad now( the creep!!) ..but i occasionally sleep at fernie's!



GOOD NEWS: my major hasn't changed....still going for electrical engineering...
BAD NEWS: GOT KICKED OUT OF CAL POLY.....UNLESS GRADES ARE GOOD....I KNOW, I KNOW...IM SUPPOSE TO BE MISS STRAIGHT A STUDENT.....=(THATS A LONG STORY I CANT GET INTO........LETS JUST SAY BECAUSE OF MY MOTHER I DIDN'T WALK!!!!!!!!!!! OR GRADUATE REALLY

Anyways, i will be udating
-dre



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